When I
first started to think about writing this article, I shied away from
the whole idea. After all, it didn't seem totally related to marketing
music. But then I started thinking, this is actually THE topic to write
about, not only because I have personally run into many memorable circumstances,
but because developing personal relationships is now more important
than ever. One reason perhaps is that, getting signed has become somewhat
of an elitist endeavor, and a career path that is not always preferred
by artists anyway. Furthermore, without the aid of managers, attorneys
and professional people around us, we have to cultivate these relationships
alone.
I am talking about social skills, in its basic form. It never ceases
to amaze me but I run into many people, musicians especially, who seem
to suffer in this department. It's possible that we have all spent way
too much time in the woodshed, alone with our instruments. However,
I think this is the romantic view. Personally I think most do not realize
that they offend, or make others feel uncomfortable.
What I am really getting at here is the ability to make others feel
important. This is the crux of the matter. The music business is littered
with over inflated egos and insecure artists, who seem to think that
the world somehow revolves around them. They relate to others in a purely
self centered way and do not have the ability or interest to compliment
others, only to spend time putting themselves on a pedestal.
Let me illustrate. I was at a party recently and ran into someone I
hardly know, who proceeded to yap about how many albums he had played
on, who he had been touring with and who he was about to tour with.
I actually didn't need to be there at all, I could have been a brick
wall. But he was trying to impress me by dropping names and telling
me how good he was. I couldn't have been less interested because his
only M.O. was to sell himself to me, or to anyone listening for that
matter. He didn't know how to include anyone else in the conversation,
he was fueling his own ego by holding court. This guy left absolutely
no mystery about himself. He
also made a grave error in my book, as do many artists who take this
stance; He didn't make me feel important. Now don't get me wrong,
I am not looking for others to sing my praises, not at all. Actually
I can get a little uncomfortable with that. I think it would have been
nice if he appeared a little less in love with himself and made an effort
to at least try to be interested in one or two other people he was talking
at.
I can remember many times throughout my very early career where I went
out of my way to introduce myself to someone established in the music
business, only to be given the "short" treatment (inferring,
"I don't have time for you!") or totally ignored. I have never
forgotten those people to this day and I always made a point of trying
my hardest not to be like them. Conversely, I also remember moving to
Los Angeles several years ago and introducing myself to quite famous
artists who were just wonderful and went out of their way to be incredibly
helpful. I have never forgotten those people also. Why? because they
made me feel important and valid, just by simply giving me their time.
Just because I couldn't do anything for them, gave them no reason not
to acknowledge me. I think this is a wonderful human quality.
The music business is a tough business. We all know that. We also know
that it can be ruthless and cold. However, everyone needs a little help
now and then. You may be that person who might need help. You also might
be a person who is regarded as established and in a position to offer
advice or inspiration to others. All I can say is, BE COOL! Cultivating
relationships is more important than it has ever been. Who knows who
you will meet next that can elevate your career.
People love to gossip, it's human instinct. That means that if you are
a cool person who is likable, personable and talented, your reputation
will go before you. On the other hand, if you are narcissistic, highly
egocentric and appear not to give a damn about anyone else, that reputation
will also go before you.
Stop and think for a moment what your reputation is. How do you think
others perceive you?
There is a myth amongst musicians, that if you don't hype yourself nobody
will hype you. Well, I do think you need to network to get on in your
career. I also absolutely know that if you talk to anyone and
make THEM feel important, you will make their day and they will never
forget you. Don't forget, people want to do business with those they
like and respect. One of the reasons they like and respect someone is
because they are clear in their minds that they are liked and respected
back.
If I honestly thought about what the best advice I could give an independent
artist to propel his or her music career forward, it would be this;
"Be
cool to everyone you meet, but more importantly, make them feel important".
