The Ultimate Music Business Conspiracy Theory

You know what, sometimes it’s pretty depressing being in an unsigned band. Very few bands achieve the level of success they dream about, the rest usually disband after a few years. But it is worth taking a big breath of reality at this point because frankly, for those bands that do not achieve any significant level of success, mostly it is because they are not very good. They lack talent and unfortunately there is no getting around lack of talent. This small article is directed at those bands that DO have the talent and drive to succeed.

So, how do bands like this fail? They fail through lack of effort invested in what they write, how they perform, and how they promote themselves. You make your own luck utterly and completely.

So, read and think…

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” – after seeing 150 or 200 gigs by bands in Camden, London over the two years, it strikes me that 70% of them are soundalikes. There is nothing wrong with having a list of five or six bands that have “influenced” you in your biography / press kit, but I do not want to come to your gig and hear rip-off soundalike songs. Be honest with yourself. If you love Pink Floyd so much, call yourself “Think Floyd” and become a cover band. What I’m trying to say here is that if you are not prepared to develop your own music, be honest about it, and don’t annoy people by making them pay to see you under false pretences.
If you can’t sing, don’t sing. If you can’t play your instrument, learn. Simple.
Music is about communication. If I’m standing in the front-row of one of your gigs, I’d like to feel in some way involved. I feel involved as soon as I see a band that really care about what they are doing. Ask yourself this: “Does my music have emotional content?”. If as the musician, you do not feel moved when performing your music, how do you expect me to give a damn?
Songs and sets need to be carefully crafted. The best way to keep people interested is to vary things. This is not to say you should follow a reggae song, with an aggressive punk song, and end with a lullaby. This is confusing. The set should be varied but consistent. Slow song, loud song, fast song, quiet song. Use different chords and different keys, put chords together that sound weird – they sound weird because you haven’t heard them before and THIS IS GOOD (Oasis take note here..). The band has to have a sound. Something that stamps every single song with “Thissoundslikeus”. You need to work out how to do this yourself. Talent plays a big role here – if you can’t do it then you will not be successful.
It’s fun to see people smashing guitars on-stage. There’s no doubt here. But if you are the guitar-smasher in question, do you do it because you think it looks cool? Do you plan it? Or is it spontaneous? An audience isn’t stupid – anything that isn’t spontaneous rarely comes across as being so. DO NOT FAKE ANYTHING. If an audience senses (and they will) lack of real feeling behind any dramatic stage movement, you’ll look pretentious and foolish. And I will hate you. If you’re genuine and trying your best to communicate your music, I’ll love you and to me, you’ll be cool (Beck?).
Let me ask you a question: When you watch an unknown band, do you care about song dedications? What does “This song is called SomeSongName and it’s for Angela”, really mean to an audience? You have to make me care about the song, and care about the band before I’m even remotely interested in the song name. And you need to tell me why you are dedicating the song to “Angela”. If, for example, it is because she died yesterday, I will empathise. You have engaged me. If it is just because you felt like it, then I don’t care. You’re wasting my time. Everything you say should have a reason. Let the audience in on the secret and you create a bond. Otherwise, just shut-up.
Don’t whinge about having no gigs, no following, no exposure. If you don’t have decent music on cd, get some. If you don’t have a gig, work, work, work until you have. If you don’t get any exposure, send cds to ezines, fanzines, student radio stations, friends and management companies until you do. Use the web to find contact names. Phone these people, make them like you, and try to meet with them. Sell cds at gigs. Invite student journalists to review your gigs. You have to create your own buzz. Think, Think, Think. If you do not or cannot invest time and effort here, then why should Mr BigShot Record Label Executive? Your ambivalent attitude to your band in terms of music or promotion will be infectious.
Do it because you do it. I don’t know why I’m in a band. I don’t know why I play guitar in my room for hours. I don’t know why I have to play the music I write in front of people. I just do. I will do so until I wake up one day and simply don’t want to do these things anymore. The motivation is not based around making money, or impressing other people or becoming famous. These are simply side-products of people responding to what someone does. If they are your reasons for doing it in the first place, you won’t succeed on any level. Go and try Pop Idol.
Do you do one thing every single day that positively moves you toward your goal? If not why not? Perhaps your circumstances don’t allow you to – bad luck. Work to get yourself into circumstances where you can. If you can’t do this, you obviously don’t care enough. For any obstacle that you face, someone somewhere will have overcome it. If one person can, everyone can.

A final word – you need to understand what success means to you. Is it to play in front of people? Is it to sell a certain number of cds? Is it to live off music and not have to do another job? Once you’ve decided what you are aiming for, just get on with it, no excuses.