How did Diane Nyad, holder of the World Record for the longest individual
non-stop swim (102.5 miles in the open sea) do it? In her own words, she
did it thanks to the combined efforts of her 51 person "success team".
Successful athletes at any level, from Olympic medal winners to Alex Rodriguez
(currently the highest paid athlete in any sport at $25.5 million dollars
a year before endorsements) are supported by a huge team of skilled professionals,
from coaches to mentors to managers, trainers, nutritionists, and psychologists,
all working together to bring out the best in the person and help them in
achieving their full potential.
Wouldn't it be great if you had the support of that kind of team in the
pursuit of your dream, whether it's to be a star, become a millionaire,
meet the man or woman of your dreams, climb Mount Everest, or raise happy,
healthy children?
One of the most crippling ideas pervading our society is the myth of "one
woman against the world" - the idea that success is most meaningful and
gratifying when it's achieved on your own. Stories of "self-made" men and
"self-made" millionaires have inculcated an attitude in Western culture
best described as "it only counts if I do it myself".
There are two primary problems with this attitude:
a. When we evaluate our achievements purely by the effort we have expended
rather than by what we have achieved, we devalue our own inner sense (innocence?)
of wanting and lose touch with our most basic source of motivation.
b. It doesn't work!
In fact, I would go so far as to call it's opposite a law of life:
Now when I say team, I'm not suggesting that everyone who supports a successful
person thinks of themselves as part of that person's success team. Many
of the people who have helped me most in my life have never met me, be they
authors, speakers, or role-models I have learned from. In fact, we all know
people who would take offence at the very idea that they were part of your
success team.
Here's a distinction - the world operates like a mutual support network
(more on this tomorrow!) Anytime we help someone better themselves or reach
for a goal, we have, if only for a moment, joined their team. Similarly,
anytime someone supports us, be it by helping to provide the food we eat,
the information we need, or the money that helps us to thrive, they are
in those moments on our team.
When I ask people on my "Seven Myths of Success" workshops to give me an
exception to the above rule, invariably someone proudly refers to themselves
as having "put themselves through school" or some other educational/training
process.
While I believe we have every reason to be proud of whatever level of education
we've attained in our lives, I wonder how far we could have gotten if we
had to write our own textbooks and make the money to support ourselves without
in turn being supported by the efforts of others who have built the businesses,
created the products, or earned the money that eventually finds its way
into our bank balances. (Let alone making our own computer chips from silicon
we harvested using simple tools made from wood and flint we found lying
around the cave!)
So if "doing it ourselves" isn't a real option, how do we go about consciously
and actively making living the life of our dreams a team effort?
Glad you asked....
Today's Experiment:
Today's experiment (and tomorrow's, which is a continuation of today's theme)
take more time than usual, but the benefits you reap will be significant.
You may want to print off today's and tomorrow's tips so that you can do
them in your own time....
Step I. (approx. 5 minutes):
Write down a description of your big dream - the goal in life, tangible
or intangible, that for you would be the epitome of success and fulfilment.
For now, don't worry about whether or not it's stated in the positive, how
you'll know you've got it, and whether or not it's realistic or within your
control to create it. In the words of Robert Fritz, "You want what you want,
whether or not you think you can have it."
(If you are having trouble with this step, who do you know who could help
you in uncovering what matters to you most?)
Step II. (approx. time 10 minutes, though you'll come back to this list
throughout the week as more names occur to you):
1. Make a list of the people who are already part of your success team.
This can include friends, family, neighbours, and colleagues, but it can
also include authors and role-models who inspire and educate you, be it
in person or through their books, tapes, videos, etc. Remember, your success
team is made up of those people who support you in the pursuit of your dream
and/or your day to day life, regardless of whether or not they think of
themselves this way!
Bonus Tip:
Every great king kept a fool or jester in his court - a person who had permission
to criticise and therefore counsel the otherwise "infallible" monarch. What
perhaps unwitting members of your success team offer you honest feedback,
even (and especially!) when you don't want to hear it? As Abraham Lincoln
said "The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend."
Step III (approx. time 30 minutes):
To help expand and refine your team, try each of the following:
1. Make a list of all the roles you would like fulfilled if you were building
your own personal success support team from scratch. Example: Coach, Mentor,
Cheerleader/Motivator, Teacher/Trainer, Financial Advisor, Lawyer, Accountant,
Plumber, etc.
Answer each of the following questions:
- How many of these roles are or could be filled by people who are already in your life? ·
- If you were going to create your "ideal success team", who would you most want to fill them? ·
- Who on your current success team could help you find the "missing" players on your ideal success team?
2. Make a list
of your strengths and weaknesses in relation to your big dream - those things
you do extremely well and those things you do not which interfere with your
success.
3. Next to each weakness, write down your ideal person to support you in
this area
Bonus Tip:
I like to keep a separate list in my address book and contact management
software for members of my success team. When I get stuck on a project,
a quick flick through my success team roster will remind me of just the
right person to call or e-mail and help me "unstick myself". Surprisingly
enough, I find I often don't even need to make the call - just seeing the
person's name acts as a trigger for my creative imagination and I can "hear"
them telling me or asking me about exactly what I need to know!
In part two, I'll give you some top tips for recruiting, motivating, and
managing your team as you move forward in pursuit of your dream....
Have fun, learn heaps, and in the words of some people on my success
team: "You can't do it all yourself. Don't be afraid to rely on others to
help you accomplish your goals." -Oprah Winfrey
"My motto has always been that anybody can do it better than me." - Paul Orfalea, founder and chairman of Kinko's
"You can make it, but it's easier if you don't have to do it alone." -Betty Ford
"When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion." -Ethiopian proverb
Already recognised as one of the outstanding trainers and coaches of his generation, and after nearly a decade at the forefront of human performance technologies research and development in the UK, Michael helped found Quantum5 to create an outlet and forum for further developing and implementing his wide-range of existing and future innovations. Since 1990, he has been teaching and training NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), one of the first human performance technologies to win widespread acceptance in the corporate sector.
Michael is perhaps best known in the field for developing models of "Conversational Change", user-friendly ways of creating pervasive personal and organisational change. He has coached and trained a diverse range of senior-level people ranging from chief executives of multinational companies to members of the Saudi Royal family. He has also been working as a professional actor throughout that time, most notably as "new-age American" Randy in the BAFTA award winning BBC sitcom Satellite City and as Hamlet in the Reduced Shakespeare Company's The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged). For more info check out his website at www.successmadefun.com